Strip Club Analogy

[Troy]

Often times when working with Steve Ralley the topic of strip clubs comes up. While I dangled upside down from the cradle, I delved deep into thought as to what a good analogy for strip clubs would be. Eventually I arrived at this:



Going to a strip club is like going to a nice restaurant...where you don't get to eat.


Imagine walking into a nice steakhouse where they charge you just to walk in the door. Then imagine sitting down, looking at the menu, and choosing the item that most whets your appetite. Soon the savory meal you've selected is brought out and placed in front of you. You become overwhelmed with the sight and smell of it as you prepare to sink your teeth into it's succulence. You season it, cut it up, place your napkin in your lap, take a couple more sips of your drink, and are just about ready to take the first bite when...it's abruptly whisked away from you. The waiter then demands you pay him $20 or you will be removed from the restaurant. And if you want him to bring the meal back...another $20!
He then tells you that if you would like have a bit more time to enjoy your meal in a more secluded area of the restaurant, you can pay $100...although this simply allows you more time to become hungry. You still don't get to eat it (in fact, if you take a bite, you will be violently thrown out of the restaurant and ordered not to return), and the whole experience will simply leave you frustrated and miserable.


The final insult comes as you leave with nothing tangible to take home, and you open your wallet to reveal that you have no money left for a cab ride. You spend the rest of the night angry at yourself for having been so vulnerable to your impulses as you walk home in the rain, no richer than the bums on the street.


I say we boycott these establishments that promote such a flagrant disregard for our biological senses! I vow to lead the uprising...as soon as I overcome this incessant desire for steak.